I will be cremated , and this, ‘ she indicated the scrapbook ‘this will be cremated with me, and out ashes will be scattered together in the garden of remembrance, and we can be together forever. We’ll read all the reviews together, you and I, and I’ll tell you about every city I visited, every theatre I played in, and I will tell you what I never told you in life. That I love you. That all I achieved, all I won, would have meant so much more if you had been there to see even one small part of it. Because one minute with you meant more to me than any of those glittering years.’ A sip of golden whisky, anaesthetic for the pain of remembrance, courage for the minutes ahead. The second chair. She gathers thought, shakes her head to clear it, begins to speak. ‘Miss Hedges. My dear Miss Hedges. When they told me of your death, I was in Berlin. I couldn’t even go to the funeral. I was in the middle of a run, and the show must go on. I sent flowers of course. Inadequate pathetic flowers.. (He gave me a bag. I started to find somewhere to change but he interrupted.) Please baby doll, we don’t have much time. So please go and change in the watchman’s cabin and be quick.I know he has a huge plan for me today and I was just beginning to enjoy. I went to the watchman’s cabin and told him that I need to change. Everyone noticed me having a bag and going to watchman’s room. As if he knows that already he showed the room inside his cabin for me to change.There were a pink sports bra and grey yoga pants in the bag. First I removed my jeans and started to wear pants. But it was very tight. I struggled to wear it. I then removed the top and bra and wore the sports bra. I turned towards the wall to avoid showing my nude body to the watchman who was watching me from outside.This was to tease him. I don’t want to present my body to him just like that like a cheap whore. It was very difficult for me to put the back clip as it was very tight and much smaller than my actual.
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